Why Would I Leave |
It's Day-15 at my new work place today. I'm having my lunch... Alone. Not because no one asked but I feel way way way more comfortable eating alone. Or you can simply put it as I very beh cham.
Sitting here thinking to myself why the hell did I leave Hard Rock. Is the money worth it? Is the distance worth it? Is the environment worth it? Is the job worth it? YES, that's what I thought but NO. For now, I don't think so. As much as I hate to complain, this is probably 1 of the very few ways I find relief in expressing myself. I miss everything Hard Rock. Not exactly the brand but the smell, the atmosphere and most of all, the PEOPLE. They became a part of my life that I feel now is missing. I miss the fun, the laughter, the frustration with certain people. Now all those seem unreachable. The things I have on my plate are so, so tough for my simple brain. Many would say, "Aiya, it's only your 2nd week here, give yourself a break. Don't be so harsh." Well as the saying goes, it's easier said than done. Exactly! I couldn't agree more. It feels awful not being able to do work if I don't spend 3 hours staring at the screen OK?
I try to find little things to be thankful about everyday since I started here. Some days can be easy most of the days hard. Today is one of the harder days to find something to be thankful about other than being alive. Is it because I expect too much from myself? Or is it simply because I know deep down that this job is just plain difficult? Having a number of tasks given to me that I probably have ZERO understanding and not having the freedom to ask with my mouth (everything goes through Skype - even speaking to the person 5cm away from me), I FEEL TRAPPED. I only can go into the toilet, pray like crazy for God to help me...
For now, I just gotta finish up my lunch and get back to work.
Lord help.
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Sheryn
Sitting here thinking to myself why the hell did I leave Hard Rock. Is the money worth it? Is the distance worth it? Is the environment worth it? Is the job worth it? YES, that's what I thought but NO. For now, I don't think so. As much as I hate to complain, this is probably 1 of the very few ways I find relief in expressing myself. I miss everything Hard Rock. Not exactly the brand but the smell, the atmosphere and most of all, the PEOPLE. They became a part of my life that I feel now is missing. I miss the fun, the laughter, the frustration with certain people. Now all those seem unreachable. The things I have on my plate are so, so tough for my simple brain. Many would say, "Aiya, it's only your 2nd week here, give yourself a break. Don't be so harsh." Well as the saying goes, it's easier said than done. Exactly! I couldn't agree more. It feels awful not being able to do work if I don't spend 3 hours staring at the screen OK?
I try to find little things to be thankful about everyday since I started here. Some days can be easy most of the days hard. Today is one of the harder days to find something to be thankful about other than being alive. Is it because I expect too much from myself? Or is it simply because I know deep down that this job is just plain difficult? Having a number of tasks given to me that I probably have ZERO understanding and not having the freedom to ask with my mouth (everything goes through Skype - even speaking to the person 5cm away from me), I FEEL TRAPPED. I only can go into the toilet, pray like crazy for God to help me...
For now, I just gotta finish up my lunch and get back to work.
Lord help.
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Sheryn
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