Of all the things I've experienced in life, I never thought I would ever be experiencing a miscarriage. 

After having our first child (he's 5y6m now), we took a long time to finally have the 'peace' to have a second one end of last year. Due to work commitments and both our energy levels, we thought we'd not be ready to go through the 'newborn' phase again. But somehow after seeking God, we both felt the readiness to go ahead and try. After 6 - 7 months, we were gifted with a positive test! I would say there was  almost no effort on our side to try for the 2nd one. We did not specifically checked on ovulation dates whatsoever - we just went with the flow. So to find out that we were expecting was a surprise.

It was on 20th June 2026 at 9pm when I did the test and it came back positive. I decided not to inform the husband until the next day as he was preparing for his Father's Day sermon on Sunday. And when I shared the news with him on Sunday, he was shocked and in disbelief but he was glad and happy as I was. Both sides of our family also found out on the same week! Everyone was overjoyed. Our son even said "Jesus gave me a dream .. The baby is a girl" the day after we broke the news to him! 

The items we placed in a box to surprise our son & family

A week later, we decided to share the news with our Life Group and quite a number of people. We decided not to "wait until 1st trimester is over" to make the announcement. We were intentional because we believe that even if anything happens, all the more our church family can journey with us. We made the right move, read on to see why. 

The announcement we did for our Life Group :)

Let's go back to my toilet on 20th June 2026 at 9pm - when I saw the 2 lines on the test stick, my immediate prayer was "God, thank you for this gift. You give and You take away, but I will always choose to bless Your name. I will always choose to give thanks" as if I knew that He was taking it away 3 weeks later... 

You know when something like this happens, people would usually say "No one ever prepares you for this..." 

But oh boy, when you're connected to the Holy Spirit, He sure will prepare you. On the 11th July 2026, I came across an Instagram post (which I shared on my Insta story) that touched me deeply. And when I shared it, I had thought that I may lose the baby... I believe it was the Holy Spirit's prompting. 

It says: 

"No matter the season, Christ does not change in his faithfulness and steadfastness to us. In sunshine and winter, in springtime and harvest, in the deepest valley and the darkest night, he is still working to accomplish his good purposes and plan in our lives and also in the world. For those who are in Christ, God has promised in Romans 8:28 that He will work ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him and for His own glory. If we really believe in this then we must know that trials - not just joys - are certainty included in 'all things'. There is blessing in seasons of hardship and trial just as there are blessings in seasons that are calm and easier. Trials can push us towards the solid rock of Christ that we can stand on. The only thing that changes in each season is our attitude and response to each one. We are too prone to engrave our trials in marble and our blessings in sand - Charles Spurgeon"

3 days after sharing this post, I had my first bleeding occurrence. Like I said, I sorta knew something was going to happen, so I went to my OBGYN the next morning and true enough, he told us that the growth of the baby did not look good and had asked us to be ready to lose it. He spoke about letting it go naturally and also educated us a little about D&C (flushing it out). I left the clinic in a lot of tears.

But I was so sure that there was not a single hint of blame nor anger. It was pure sadness. 

Hubs and son laid hands on me praying for a miracle every night after the news.

I was scheduled to lead worship on 19th July 2026, and had been requested to lead "Same God by Elevation Worship" on the day of my first bleeding. Before it happened, I was worshipping God with the song and was ministered to by God. Another 'prep' by the Holy Spirit, I really believe so.. The song focuses on God's faithfulness just like what the Instagram post mentioned. 

I have really good support around - my family and my family in Christ. Upon finding out the news, they sent me food, snacks, notes, prayers and some even came to my house just to hang out. A very dear friend even helped to arrange the worship leading so I could just soak in His presence on Sunday rather than leading the worship session. At first I thought I would be ok to still lead but turns out, the hormones won, I was practically covered in tears those few days. 

I really was overwhelmed by the care and love poured on me. This is church! 

I'm so grateful that I get to experience this care that I read about. Because more often, we are the ones giving it. And receiving it felt really warm. 

Then Sunday came. To be honest, I thought of not going to church because I did not want to look like a wreck in front of everyone. That morning, I felt a little unwell, I was feeling weak and having some chills (Even more so I had 'reason' not to go).  But.. I went anyway. I looked really pale. One of my dear friend came and spoke to me (she knew what had happen) and then offered to pray for me. I was so blessed and was so encouraged because it was like a role switch! And I get to experience it. 

Another dear friend took up leading the worship session and chose this song, "To You" by Hillsong Worship. There you go, the "well" cracked and I was covered in tears again. Because I was feeling so blessed to be found in His presence and among my family of Christ. Verse 2 touched me deeply just knowing that God placed me in this church family, to care and to be cared for. 

[Verse 2]
I am Yours, surrendered wholly to You
You set me in Your family
Calling me Your own

Right after the service ended, another person came up to me - she asked if I was doing okay (she did not know). She said she didn't know why but just felt like checking in on me. And to give some context, she rarely reaches out to anyone (and just seldom opens up to anyone). So I shared with her what happened. She was in tears and immediately opened up about what she was going through this year and we managed to encourage each other. She said that the message my husband shared earlier touched her deeply. After speaking to her, some aunties saw me and asked if anything was wrong with me, and I shared with them, they gathered and prayed for me and encouraged me. I really felt so, so loved. Again, I was in awe with what God can do through a 'painful' time. Reminder: "He works all things for good". 

Had I have not gone to church, I would have not experience how a church family loves and cares for us during this time. This is a reminder to anyone who feels the need to isolate when something bad happens - GO TO CHURCH ANYWAY. 

Because God is good - period. 

Then Monday came. Because I had a fever on Sunday, I decided to go and get checked as the embryo was still in my womb. To cut the long story short, I had 2 tests done to find out why I was having a fever. Those tests came back negative. Thank God! 

And after seeing the doctor, I felt it was finally like a closure for my husband. Prior to this doctor's appointment, he was hopeful that there would be a miracle - that the baby would still be okay. 

We went to pick our son up from school and we went to watch Moana in the cinema. When I entered the hall, I felt a little uneasy in my stomach. I was experiencing cramps and it felt like contractions. Halfway through the movie, I went to the toilet thinking I was going to 'pass out' the embryo. I prayed that it can wait till we got home... 

The contractions felt more and more intense as we were on our way home and at one point it was too painful to bear so I thought it was time to just sit on the bowl and wait. 2 minutes later, I felt a blop gushed out.. And slowly the contractions reduced to very minor cramp. 

I prayed as I surrendered the baby back to God. He gave and took away, but my heart is here to say blessed be His name. I thanked Him for everything that happened in the last month and for the great timing when it happened. 

And today before writing this, I was reading Jeremiah 31:25 as it's the 'verse of the day' on my YouVersion app.  It says, "Those who are tired and worn out will find new life and energy" - CEV

("For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing.”) - NLT 

Wow! He was and still is so near to me. He truly did not despise the broken and contrite heart. I experienced something so great in the midst of pain and this I will not ever forget. 

Thank you, Jesus! 

Thank you for reading and I pray that you will be encouraged that even in your deepest valley, God is still there. 

Love, 
Sheryn 

Lee Ean Teng
28 April 1930 - 16 November 2022

My Kung Kung and I shared a special bond, one that went beyond being simply grandfather and grandchild. We were born in the same Lunar year—the Year of the Horse—and he often reminded me of how similar we were in character. We were both spontaneous, adventurous, and had an unshakeable love for life. He was the kind of person who did first, thought later, loved to laugh, and never turned down a good meal or a spontaneous trip.

Growing up, I spent countless hours at their house. Kung Kung had a knack for sneaking me out, taking me on little adventures. I’ll never forget the times we’d hop on the bus and travel all the way to Island Plaza, just to have our favorite lamb shoulder with mint sauce. We didn’t do it often, but every trip felt like an adventure, and those memories have stayed with me for years.

But it wasn’t just about the food or the trips. It was about the little things that shaped who I am today. My love for music, for instance, I truly believe I owe to him. He would play Celine Dion and Spice Girls concerts on tape, and we’d sit together, singing along, lost in the joy of those moments.

When I was 10, he made me a promise. If I did well on my exams, he’d buy me any cassette I wanted. I scored well, and he kept his word. The cassette he bought me became my treasure. I’d listen to it on repeat, and every time the music played, it felt like a small piece of Kung Kung was with me.

Finding out about his passing while I was miles away from home was gut-wrenching. There’s no way to fully capture the sorrow of being so far when the world you love feels like it’s falling apart. But Kung Kung, I’ll be back on Sunday to see you for the last time.

I can’t say goodbye yet. I’ll carry you with me in every laugh, in every spontaneous adventure, in every song that plays. I’ll make sure your spirit lives on in everything I do, until we meet again.

I actually had the privilege of growing up with all four of my grandparents. Not just two.

And por por… she was the first of them to fall sick — but the last to leave us. That really shows just how strong she was.

I don’t remember this myself, but my mum told me por por took care of me from birth until I turned two.

Maybe that’s why I’ve always felt a special closeness to her… and to kung kung.

Growing up, I followed her everywhere. I’d tag along to the pondok where she hung out with her friends. Maybe that’s where my heart for older folks grew. Just watching her — how she spoke, how she gave, how she laughed — I learned she was a very generous person.

She was also strict and stern… but somehow, I always managed to slip through her fingers.

That’s why, I tear up whenever I think of her.

Her mind was sharp — and her comebacks were always quick and funny.

I still remember how, whenever she tried to call one of us cousins, she’d go through four names before getting to the right one.

“Ah Bit, Ah Dear, Ah Fin, Ah Yen… ah, Ah Wen!(That's me)"

It never failed to make us laugh.

I also have these small, everyday memories that I really treasure.

Like going with her to the mini mart below the apartment. Because of her bad knee, she’d sit on a stool and ask me to grab whatever she needed. And I’d happily squeeze through the aisles to do that. 

There are two things that will always remind me of her:

One is that brown glass bottle of sea coconut cough syrup — which she always had at home.

And the other is Enchanteur talcum powder. That scent… even now, it brings me back to her.

At home, when we watched TV together, I would always sit between her legs. And my mum used to joke that I liked the smell of her sarong. Maybe I did — because to me, that smell meant comfort. It meant por por.

And of course… por por was the best cook.

She used to sell nasi lemak, laksa, and more — though I never got to try those.

But I did get to taste her bak chang and sambal belacan when she was still making and selling them. And honestly… they were the best.

I miss her cooking so much. I think we all do.

I hope I inherited even a little bit of her skill in the kitchen.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned — it’s this:

Treasure your loved ones while you still can.

Spend time with them. Laugh with them. And most importantly, Learn from them.

Because time goes quickly… and we won’t always realise how much they meant to us until they’re gone. 

Love,
Sheryn

Some stuff that happened since: 

1. I gave birth. Duh! Maybe another post for this story? Idk. 

2. I spent all my time in confinement with my parents and husband coz there was a 2nd lockdown, God knows how many lockdowns we've had. 

3. Then I got to raise my baby at home from May - Dec 2021 because there was another lockdown! Haha! I'm so eternally grateful for those months. 

4. I sold the car that I bought in 2015, I still miss it sometimes. 

5. I got to travel out of the country again in 2022. It was a short trip to Taiwan, blessed by my pastor. 

6. My grandfather whom I was close to when I was younger passed away in November 2022, while I was in Taiwan. 

7. I went to Hatyai, Thailand with my family early this year (March 2023). It was splendid! 

I think that's all that I can remember for now. Becoming a mother, other than worrying about having enough breastmilk, it was tough for me. I often see myself as someone who needs to be taken care of, not me taking care of others. I'm not sure why, some may say I'm spoiled hah! But yea, a lot of things were done for me by people around me. It's just naturally like that... So when I became a mom, I felt the weight of being responsible of another human being too heavy. Often I felt inadequate as a mom, as a staff in church and as a leader of my ministry. I really don't want to blame it on motherhood, but as I contemplate and reflect, motherhood has taken a big part of my being. Now I have to think of the wellbeing of another person, how are we raising him is constantly circling in my mind. Yes, like a lot of people, I also succumbed to letting the people around me dictate certain ways I do things. Which is... sometimes not wrong but at most times, IT IS STRESSFUL. 

Now that our baby, oh, his name is Asher and no longer a baby, is almost 2.5 years old, I'm only beginning to get used to the rhythm of motherhood. This shows how un-motherly I am haha! Or at least how I view myself. Yup, only now I am beginning to not feel that weight anymore and am able to carry out my usual tasks without feeling like crap. 

I have our parents to thank. They help us look after our boy Tuesdays - Fridays. So that's a lot of weight lifted off our shoulders. And some weekends when need, we send him to my parents too so that we can really focus on our 'work' which deals with people a whole lot! 

I'll also talk about how God has always been providing for us in our journey. Both Sean and I work full time in church, so we don't earn what normal young working adults do. With a house (rented), 2 cars (1 given to us) and a kid to take care of, what we do get from our jobs is only just enough. We don't get to save much or at all. BUT. Every time. I repeat, EVERY TIME when we needed extra money for certain items, somehow, the money would just come to us. It has happened at least (from my poor memory) 4 times since we had Asher. When Sean's phone was about to die, someone (we don't know that person) transferred money, more than enough to our account. When we needed a mattress coz the previous one was faulty, someone sent donations from the US! At the right time, we have always been blessed with more than enough for what we actually need. We are sooo thankful to God and those who have blessed us all these years. 

Now on to the next phase of our lives, we are now thinking, praying, discussing about sending Asher to nursery. I am reminding myself that my God will supply all of our needs, just like how He always does. But it is a journey, an exciting one I would say. We cannot afford to pay for the fees with our current salary. Hah! But my God can leh! So just wait for my next update to see how God came through for us ok? Stay tuned!