Can't believe my last post was almost 3 years ago, where we did the baby gender reveal!

Some stuff that happened since: 

1. I gave birth. Duh! Maybe another post for this story? Idk. 

2. I spent all my time in confinement with my parents and husband coz there was a 2nd lockdown, God knows how many lockdowns we've had. 

3. Then I got to raise my baby at home from May - Dec 2021 because there was another lockdown! Haha! I'm so eternally grateful for those months. 

4. I sold the car that I bought in 2015, I still miss it sometimes. 

5. I got to travel out of the country again in 2022. It was a short trip to Taiwan, blessed by my pastor. 

6. My grandfather whom I was close to when I was younger passed away in November 2022, while I was in Taiwan. 

7. I went to Hatyai, Thailand with my family early this year (March 2023). It was splendid! 

I think that's all that I can remember for now. Becoming a mother, other than worrying about having enough breastmilk, it was tough for me. I often see myself as someone who needs to be taken care of, not me taking care of others. I'm not sure why, some may say I'm spoiled hah! But yea, a lot of things were done for me by people around me. It's just naturally like that... So when I became a mom, I felt the weight of being responsible of another human being too heavy. Often I felt inadequate as a mom, as a staff in church and as a leader of my ministry. I really don't want to blame it on motherhood, but as I contemplate and reflect, motherhood has taken a big part of my being. Now I have to think of the wellbeing of another person, how are we raising him is constantly circling in my mind. Yes, like a lot of people, I also succumbed to letting the people around me dictate certain ways I do things. Which is... sometimes not wrong but at most times, IT IS STRESSFUL. 

Now that our baby, oh, his name is Asher and no longer a baby, is almost 2.5 years old, I'm only beginning to get used to the rhythm of motherhood. This shows how un-motherly I am haha! Or at least how I view myself. Yup, only now I am beginning to not feel that weight anymore and am able to carry out my usual tasks without feeling like crap. 

I have our parents to thank. They help us look after our boy Tuesdays - Fridays. So that's a lot of weight lifted off our shoulders. And some weekends when need, we send him to my parents too so that we can really focus on our 'work' which deals with people a whole lot! 

I'll also talk about how God has always been providing for us in our journey. Both Sean and I work full time in church, so we don't earn what normal young working adults do. With a house (rented), 2 cars (1 given to us) and a kid to take care of, what we do get from our jobs is only just enough. We don't get to save much or at all. BUT. Every time. I repeat, EVERY TIME when we needed extra money for certain items, somehow, the money would just come to us. It has happened at least (from my poor memory) 4 times since we had Asher. When Sean's phone was about to die, someone (we don't know that person) transferred money, more than enough to our account. When we needed a mattress coz the previous one was faulty, someone sent donations from the US! At the right time, we have always been blessed with more than enough for what we actually need. We are sooo thankful to God and those who have blessed us all these years. 

Now on to the next phase of our lives, we are now thinking, praying, discussing about sending Asher to nursery. I am reminding myself that my God will supply all of our needs, just like how He always does. But it is a journey, an exciting one I would say. We cannot afford to pay for the fees with our current salary. Hah! But my God can leh! So just wait for my next update to see how God came through for us ok? Stay tuned!