I guess this is the time of the month where I'd pick on anything to fight about. Pick on anything to feel offended about. Pick on anything to feel emotional about. It really sucks. Now that I notice, I can still write about it. But when I don't things get so out of control... This could be by far one of the most negative post I'll be writing... I'll show you that life isn't always a bed of roses, but it still goes on.

I finished work and left at 7.10pm-ish. Was supposed to meet him for dinner and spend some time together before I leave for 4 days. He fell sick yesterday so we decided to have a quick dinner. After a really quick dinner he sent me home..

While in the car, I don't remember how but I brought up the topic on how he is so super fussy about doing things that bothers me and stresses me out. For instance, yesterday's dinner at his house, I took the fork&spoon and distributed them out. I knew he'd want me to pair them (according to their type/shape) so I really did put effort into pairing them. When I was done, he said "why is this not paired" the moment he said that, I almost broke into tears but I remained calm. And I let out a sigh.

Bringing this up just now might not be the best thing to do, given my yoyo emotions but it just came out. After a long argument, there was no conclusion. I seek for one. I asked if he could just let me do things my way instead of following his. The answer... only he knows. I didn't know how to stop the anger and frustration I just hugged him and said sorry. But I know the deep inside me still yearns for a conclusion... something like, "babe, as long as you're happy doing things, just do it your way..."  Sobs.

Now that I'm writing this I want to reflect on myself too. Is it too much to ask if I could do things my way? Is it too much to ask him to stop forcing me to do things his ways? Idk. God, speak to me. Speak to him too.. Guide us, I pray.

See, being in a relationship really isn't happy moments all the way. It is these moments that stretch you and test you and see if you really love that someone and if you would sacrifice certain things to make it work. If my relationship with him was merely "I like you, you like me, we should be together" kinda thing, I really don't think it'll last. I almost gave up several times. But he was persistent and he knew exactly why we got together in the first place, that is why we're still together.

I somehow find that each day I learn new things about each other. I learn that we have more differences than I thought we'd have. But in the differences, we love each other still. I'm so thankful suddenly. Now I need to learn to accept about what I complained just now. And I pray that he will choose to accept me too.

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While writing this, I just received a text. A text of apology from him.. Wow! GOD, you're amazing. Look, when we learn to stop and reflect on ourselves and surrender to God, He's gonna take care of it. I'm not like "Yayyy so much win" but I am completely humbled by what just happened. He took the effort to apologise and I should too.

Thank you for reading! I gotta go say my sorry now!

Love,
Sheryn